Taking It Easy Is Hard Work


By this time of year, there’s a fine online harvest of holiday snaps, anecdotes and the like. And they all look lovely when I trawl through them on Facebook. Sometimes I get quite carried away – except that, of course, you don’t get actually, physically carried away: and that’s the trouble.

It’s not like you suddenly find yourself swimming with a shark (or not in a way you’d like); or realise you’ve absentmindedly blundered into the Taj Mahal. You don’t set out for a relaxing stroll and then find yourself saying: ‘What, the summit of Uluru already? Well, fancy that.’

In other words, you have to do stuff. You can decide to stick to your nearest Butlins or go for the most inclusive of inclusive packages and you still have to get organised. You have to confuse yourself  online or go into a travel agent and be beaten over the head with brochures until you give in.

And yet we notverygoods need our holidays. We use up a lot of energy, what with finding everything a challenge. And clearly paying someone lots of dosh to arrange the whole thing for you has its drawbacks. So what next? (Got so tired thinking about all this holiday planning that it’s clear I ¬†need a holiday. But then again …)


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If It Ain’t Broke, It Will Be When I’ve Finished with It

DIY, or Destroy It Yourself.

The problem I have is basically with … stuff. The physical world, if you will. Things that break. Things that mysteriously stain. Pins that stick themselves into me and bits of the planet that evilly attach themselves to my person.

Take Sellotape. Who are these people who can just snip off a little piece of the stuff and calmly use it for its purpose? Without getting it wrapped around their fingers and quite likely swinging from their hair. Or knock in a nail or thread a needle in a way that doesn’t bring to mind, as my late mum used to put it, ‘a pig with a musket’.

What I would really like to live in is a specially created environment – everything unbreakable, with self-cleaning surfaces, say. Or am I describing a padded cell?

So, out of curiosity: does anyone else get defeated by simple tasks that everyone except you seems to perform without thinking, or am I the only musket-toting porker left?