Some months ago I started the search for the perfect job for the Notverygood. Since then I’ve been working (not very hard, of course) on behalf of us all, and am happy to say that I’ve finally found it – the career for Notverygoods everywhere!
I got the idea last week, while someone was patiently trying to help me understand the workings of an online calendar (sort of got it now, but still managed to cancel all appointments yesterday and had to put them back one by one):
I’m going to be an Instruction Tester.
I’ve done some googling and it looks as if this gaping hole in our society hasn’t been filled yet. No wonder so many of us spend so much time throwing things at computers, stamping on our new flatpack furniture and so on, while wailing ‘But I followed the instructions – why won’t it work?’
What all the makers and designers should do is: employ a genuine, certified, highly trained Notverygood to keep trying and failing to assemble, install or use new products until finally we find a way of explaining them that nobody – not even me – can get wrong.
Imagine seeing a package or device that carried an assurance: ‘The instructions for use for this product have been tested on some of the most inept people in the world, who still managed to follow them.’ Wouldn’t you be more likely to buy it?
So now I’m off to Ikea to pitch this. Or would it be better to start with something more modest, like how to use a tin opener? Better not get ahead of myself.
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