If It Ain’t Broke, It Will Be When I’ve Finished with It

DIY, or Destroy It Yourself.

The problem I have is basically with … stuff. The physical world, if you will. Things that break. Things that mysteriously stain. Pins that stick themselves into me and bits of the planet that evilly attach themselves to my person.

Take Sellotape. Who are these people who can just snip off a little piece of the stuff and calmly use it for its purpose? Without getting it wrapped around their fingers and quite likely swinging from their hair. Or knock in a nail or thread a needle in a way that doesn’t bring to mind, as my late mum used to put it, ‘a pig with a musket’.

What I would really like to live in is a specially created environment – everything unbreakable, with self-cleaning surfaces, say. Or am I describing a padded cell?

So, out of curiosity: does anyone else get defeated by simple tasks that everyone except you seems to perform without thinking, or am I the only musket-toting porker left?





Another not very good post

Hello again!

Many thanks to all who took a moment to look at my first post. This was so encouraging that I’ve decided to try posting about once a week until I a) get good at it, thus defeating the purpose, or b) discover that everyone except me is Good at Stuff and therefore I’m only writing it for myself.

This is not a self-help site. I can proudly state that I’m not qualified to help anyone with anything. Besides, there seem to be quite a lot of those already. But where’s the platform for those of us who look at job ads calling for motivated, passionate and capable individuals and let out a small whimper? Who feel we deserve recognition – or at least a biscuit – if we manage to get to the corner shop and back without mishap?

Well, help is not at hand. It never is, is it? But to anyone who goes through life with a strong sense that they’ll never get it right –   –  I would say ‘join the club’, but that’s been tried already: anyone remember the  anyone remember the Not Terribly Good Club of Great Britain ? So I’ll just say hello and welcome! By spending your precious time on this site when you could have been improving your skills, learning useful stuff etc, you’ve made a wonderful start. Looking forward to sharing stories of ineptitude in the near future …




On not being very good at anything


This is a blog for those of us who find everyday living a constant, head-scratching challenge. Not because our lives are so hard or because we face any major obstacles but because we are, well, not very good at anything.
I intended to start this some time ago, but not being very good at getting things done … or finishing sentences …
Then once I did start, there were a few technical hitches. Turns out I’m not very good at following instructions for starting a blog either. So I wasted quite a lot of time trying to set up a free one –  it’s probably still out there; how do you get rid of them? – before finally listening to advice (no, I’m not good at that either) and starting again. So here I am.

There seem to be all kinds of things I could do to make this look better, but honestly? I don’t understand any of them. So for now I think I’ll just press Publish and see if anything happens…